


a hundred million damage in hypixel skyblock

by reva_pocalypse



Series: assorted earth c shenanigans [2]
Category: Homestuck, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, an underdog story, callout posts, copious amounts of time puns, minecraft youtube - Freeform, time gods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reva_pocalypse/pseuds/reva_pocalypse
Summary: TimeDeo uploaded a new video, and Dave is pumped to watch it! However, Rose has a few questions for him first.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider, hinted roseradia
Series: assorted earth c shenanigans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696426
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	a hundred million damage in hypixel skyblock

**Author's Note:**

> this extraordinarily cursed fic has references to and is very similar in style to [shooting the shit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277715/chapters/50663681) which is why I made this a series but the fic also references [rosemarried life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056616) so go read that first to unlock the complete reader experience

DAVE: oh my god rose  
DAVE: timedeo finally uploaded a new video  
ROSE: I’m sorry, “TimeDeo?”  
ROSE: Deo as in deodorant?  
DAVE: yeah  
ROSE: Time as in the unit of measurement used to quantify our gradual progression towards entropy?  
ROSE: Or thyme as in the herb used to season food?  
DAVE: cmon rose you know about my tortured relationship with time puns  
DAVE: do you really gotta hammer it in so deep  
ROSE: Personally, I believe prolonged exposure will accustom you to the art.  
ROSE: Did you know Aradia?  
ROSE: Before she fucked off to the dreambubbles with Sollux, I mean.  
DAVE: not really  
DAVE: i mean i talked to her once in the dreambubbles but i didnt really know her  
ROSE: I’ve been talking to her more lately.  
ROSE: I have to say, she’s rather warmed me up to time puns.  
ROSE: It’s significantly harder to keep up my typical air of mild disapproval when she takes so much joy from even the simplest of wordplay.  
DAVE: ok homosexual  
ROSE: It takes one to know one.  
DAVE: fuck  
ROSE: You walked right into that.  
DAVE: well sorry im not on my a game literally all the time  
DAVE: like rn im a little distracted by this sweet new timedeo video  
DAVE: its been two months wheres he been  
ROSE: I’m not ready to let that name go.  
ROSE: Of all combinations of words and not-words, he chose those two? Really?  
DAVE: holy shit rose hes dealing a hundred million damage in hypixel skyblock thats insane  
ROSE: And the people eat it right up.  
DAVE: yknow if youre so invested in his name you can just watch his video about it  
ROSE: Oh?  
DAVE: yeah its right here  
DAVE: how i got the name timedeo  
ROSE: How he “got” it?  
ROSE: Did the Minecraft gods themselves descend from the heavens and anoint this very man to the honorable position of TimeDeo?  
ROSE: Actually, that would explain a few things.  
DAVE: no lmao  
DAVE: its like a whole thing [you should just watch it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftQsbhSF6Hg)  
ROSE: I suppose I’ll take your word on it.  
  
TIMEDEO: What is up ladies and gamers, it’s SleepDeprivedDeo and it is currently 3:30 AM, and I had a random spark of motivation to record this, so I’m gonna just go ahead and do it while I’ve got that motivation.  
ROSE: Ah, so he is rather flexible with his title. It seems to serve as a reflection of his current status, ever-changing and dynamic.  
ROSE: Does this mean his resting state is that of pure time? Or perhaps he is a time god of sorts.  
ROSE: How could there be a time god we don’t already know about?  
DAVE: rose i  
DAVE: what the fuck are you talking about  
DAVE: its a joke hes making a joke  
ROSE: Perhaps if you possessed critical thinking skills, you would notice that I, too, am making a joke.  
ROSE: And here I was thinking you had some kind of mastery over the art of irony. I suppose I was gravely mistaken.  
DAVE: tbh with the number of things you say like that unironically the distinction is kinda pointless  
ROSE: Or maybe your hastiness in shutting down my theory stems from some secret you’re trying to keep?  
DAVE: wh  
ROSE: Dave. Are YOU TimeDeo?  
DAVE: pfffffwhhaaahahahahaha  
DAVE: you know what  
DAVE: yes  
DAVE: im timedeo  
DAVE: holy shit rose i cant believe you called me out like this  
DAVE: running a shitty minecraft youtube channel is my deepest most heavily guarded secret  
DAVE: you better not tell anybody about this my reputation will be ruined  
ROSE: We’ll see, Dave.  
ROSE: We’ll see.  
TIMEDEO: On a side note, I’ve had a lot more motivation ever since Battle Royale came out, it is by far my favorite game on Hypixel, and I am sad that it’s only temporary. Alright, so onto the topic of how I got my name.  
TIMEDEO: Whenever me and my brother were creating Xbox Live accounts, we needed to find a username, and since my real name is Justin, I thought JustinTime was original, and come to find out that it is not. Uh, I am not the only person that thought of that.  
DAVE: dont you dare fucking say it rose  
DAVE: rose i can see the look in your eye and i am warning you right now  
DAVE: if you say a single goddamn word i will be writing a callout post  
DAVE: my followers by which i mean timedeos followers because we are the same person are real nasty when theyre riled up  
DAVE: they will absolutely wreck your internet reputation  
DAVE: your complacency of the learned lets read will become a laughingstock  
DAVE: no shut up  
DAVE: do not snicker at me  
DAVE: i see by your raised eyebrow you are snidely asking me if i will sic my followers on you now that youve made a sound  
DAVE: lucky for you im a benevolent time god  
DAVE: you didnt technically say a word so my divine curse implies that i cant punish you  
DAVE: this time  
DAVE:   
DAVE:   
DAVE:   
DAVE:   
DAVE:   
DAVE: FUCK  
TIMEDEO: And since I had an Xbox 360, I had JustinTime360, and I stuck with that for quite a while. Up until I met a friend Josh. Josh was one of my best friends growing up, and we wanted to start a YouTube channel where we would record our Minecraft gameplay with our iPads and upload it raw to YouTube without any editing.   
TIMEDEO: So whenever we had to make a YouTube name, since both of our names started with J, we had kinda just called ourself the JTime360. So it was like, Justin and Josh, the J stood for both those, and then Time just kinda stuck from my name. And then 360, everything else was taken, so the numbers just kinda stayed there so we could keep things consistent.  
TIMEDEO: But whenever it came down to making our YouTube channel, we couldn’t figure out how to put numbers in our name. And I swear that setting up a YouTube channel is completely different than it is now, because I tried for like an hour — I tried for a while to get numbers in there, and I swear I couldn’t.  
TIMEDEO: And we kinda just sat there brainstorming, like what do we do... we could try TimeEgo, which is 360 put into letters, but it just didn’t have the ring that I wanted it to have. So, it didn’t take me that long, I just came up with Deo. Deo stands for literally nothing, I honestly made it up.  
ROSE: It’s rather fascinating, the way the limitations of the YouTube channel naming system affect the very brand of the YouTubers themselves.  
ROSE: New accounts with their own name ideas are at the whim of those who have come before them, and often must improvise on the spot if their name of choice has been stolen by another.  
ROSE: On the other hand, legacy accounts with the simplest names are regarded as legends just for their longevity, even if they haven’t been active for years and are effectively holding the name hostage from interested parties.  
ROSE: It’s all rather interesting to consider, isn’t it, D—  
ROSE:   
ROSE: What, was I not allowed to speak yet?   
DAVE: i mean  
ROSE: Are you going to cancel me now?  
ROSE: Is that the level you’ve stooped to, as a literal god of this world?  
ROSE: Writing yourself a cute little callout post on your YouTube community page to cancel the god of Light, are you?  
ROSE: Oh no, TimeDeo was mean to me online. How shall I ever recover?  
DAVE: ok ok jegus  
DAVE: i guess i wont call you out if youre gonna pull the fuckin god card  
DAVE: goddamn  
ROSE: Thank you.  
TIMEDEO: So we ended up dropping the J in JTimeDeo, and it just became TimeDeo, and once Josh quit Minecraft I kinda just stuck with the name, and it’s been my name ever since.  
TIMEDEO: The funny thing is that people in real life call me Deo over Justin, and I actually prefer it. It’s just been my nickname for so long, and it started out as my irl friends just calling me Deo, because that was easier to say than Justin apparently, or — something, I honestly don’t know. And it just kinda stuck, so I had people in school calling me Deo, and teachers call me it, and it’s just kinda become my nickname now.  
TIMEDEO: Also, another side note, I’m workin’ on rebranding all my social medias and everything to Deo. Once Hytale comes out, and if I find the game fun enough, I’m gonna switch all my content over to there. And since I get name reservation I’ll be able to get the name Deo, so I’ll have everything as Deo except for Minecraft, and believe me I’ve tried to get the account Deo before and it hasn’t really worked.  
TIMEDEO: Alright, I hope you enjoyed the video, and I will see you later.  
ROSE: A startlingly poetic twist to end this saga.  
ROSE: The provisional name created from nothing, meaning nothing, born out of the frustrating limitations of a system that denies latecomers their true artistic vision, ends up being the most treasured of all.  
ROSE: And yet, despite this impressive underdog story, the legacy account still triumphs in the end.  
ROSE: Whoever owns the Minecraft account Deo is the real winner of the day, and they likely have absolutely no idea.  
ROSE: Goddamn.  
DAVE: rose you ok there  
ROSE: Yes, why?  
DAVE: at first i thought that whole spiel was just you continuing the gag but its gone too far now  
DAVE: i think youre actually invested in this  
ROSE: Bold of you to assume I wasn’t invested the whole time.  
DAVE: you said you were joking yourself like ten minutes ago  
ROSE: That was a different topic entirely.  
DAVE: oh my god  
DAVE: this is so stupid  
DAVE: you can see that right rose  
ROSE: Do you not see the drama, the intrigue, in this tale?  
ROSE: I admit, I did not see this coming when we started the video.  
ROSE: I expected to hear some wacky story and to have a little laugh before moving on to more important matters.  
ROSE: But what I found was so much more than that.  
DAVE: im fuckin leaving  
DAVE: go nerd out over this with aradia since shes your best friend now or whatever  
DAVE: im sure shell be happy to indulge in this bs with you  
ROSE: You know what? Maybe I will.  
ROSE: She won’t mock me for my legitimate fascination with this video and its implications.  
DAVE: i feel like im going insane  
ROSE: Who knows, maybe she’s the real TimeDeo and you’ve been lying to me this whole time.  
ROSE: The only way to find out is to go and ask her, I suppose.  
DAVE: ok bye then  
DAVE: im gonna go take a nap and like  
DAVE: think about what ive done  
ROSE: Have fun with that, loser.  


**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my twisted fucking mind


End file.
